• Quit is not the opposite of grit, in fact, it’s a kissing cousin or two sides of the same coin.  Setting out to accomplish something hard is admirable and knowing when to quit is equally important.

When to quit

There are two times I’d advocate quitting and at the heart of both are understanding your vision, values and boundaries:

1. 1. 1. Once you realise what you’ve committed to isn’t what you actually committed to;
      2. When it comes at the detriment of your health and wellbeing because it misaligns with your vision, values and boundaries.

1.      What you committed to isn’t what you committed to

It’s not uncommon when we decide on a course of action or commit to something new that it turns out what you thought you were signing up for isn’t what you’re experiencing.

This happens often when we take on new roles in new companies. No matter how well you interview the hiring manager and others about the role, the organisation and the future opportunities, sometimes it’s just not what was committed to. This has happened to me in my career and I’m confident it’s happened to many others. The challenge I found and I know many others find is that it hurts to admit you ‘failed’… except you didn’t fail. You assessed the situation and realised that there was a fundamental misalignment.

When this happens you have two options – you accept it for what it is, or you recognise that this is not what you want and don’t accept it.  When you’re clear about your vision, values and boundaries you can objectively assess where you find yourself, whether you’re living and working in alignment and then make a decision.

2.     Proceeding at your own detriment!

Doing hard things comes with hardship, of course it does. And you need grit to do hard things. Sometimes that means you’re tired and need to persevere; or you’re injured and need to postpone; or your relationships suffer and you need to renegotiate and reinvest. And grit means you do those things.

However, what happens when you’re tired to the point of being burnt out; or your injury is life threatening or quality of life threatening; or your relationship is breaking under the strain?

This happens most often when you’re no long working in line with your vision, values and boundaries. You’ve lost your way and can’t get back in line with what you hold most deeply to be true. This one is harder to identify and deal with if you’re not clear in the first place what your vision, values and boundaries are.

This is when you need to make the tough choices and decide if you will keep going or identify the cost is too high and stop.  The first question is can I get back in alignment with my vision, values and boundaries in this situation? If you can’t, it’s time to quit.

How to decide it it’s quitting time

Of course, finding the right balance point between giving something a fair go and quitting too soon can be challenging.

When you set out to accomplish something deeply challenging, whether that’s work or personal, understanding your non-negotiables and boundaries beforehand is equally as important as the goal.

The trick is to be clear before you start, what the quitting criteria is. Annie Duke, Author of ‘Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away’ calls this the “kill criteria”. Whilst I don’t love the language, I do love the premise.

By being clear before you go into an experience and making sure you’ve done the appropriate groundwork beforehand you clearly know what it is that you want. This will enable you to make the right call if it turns out to be the wrong move.

Defining your Quitting Criteria

This where the strong alignment between grit and quit become clear. There are four key steps in having grit and only one extra to quit.

1. Defining and being clear on what your vision, values and boundaries are in life. There are some great resources in this space available so I won’t go into them here, other than to say my person preference is Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead model. So for me:

• • My vision is to inspire people to live bigger lives
  • My values are:
    • Freedom to adventure; and
    • Excellence for others
  • My boundaries are many and at their heart:
    • Must not prevent my ability to maintain healthy and happy relationships
    • Must not impinge on my values, ethics and sense of fairness
    • Must not prevent me from living a healthy, happy and active life

2.  Deciding how your vision, values and boundaries apply in this situation and what the risks to them are. These will generally directly align to the above. For example, I’m planning to ride a bicycle race across the Simpson Desert later this year, so it looks like this:

• • Vision – to inspire others to participate in this and other amazing sporting adventures they think may be unachievable.
  • Values:
    • Freedom to adventure – I can’t be injured to the point that I can’t ride bikes anymore (bikes are my happy place)
    • Excellence for others – ensuring I can manage my race and energy in a way that doesn’t negatively impact others at the event or in my life.
  • Boundaries:
    • Ben (my husband) is my support crew (in life and the race) so I must not divert so much energy to training and racing that we lose touch and he’s not getting the support he needs in the relationship.
    • I can’t get so focussed on the race that I lose sight of the big picture and how I’m affecting those around me.
    • I must still be able to socialise with friends, have adventures in our truck and boat and make space for all the other events that happen in a year.