You know that feeling when everything in your life looks good on paper, but something still feels… off? You’re not burned out. You’re not depressed. You’re just not quite yourself. There’s a word for this, and discovering it changed everything for me.

The Recognition

Last year, I was stuck in what I thought was just a need for rest. I slowed down, took time out, recharged—but the flatness remained. If anything, the rest just made the “meh” feeling more obvious and harder to explain away.

Then, during a Friday chat with my friend Kate Campion about books (she runs a great book club you should check out if that’s your thing), she mentioned reading a book called Languishing by Dr. Corey Keyes. That single word sparked immediate recognition. That’s what this is.

Not burnout. Not depression. Just that uncomfortable middle ground where life is objectively good, but your spark feels dull. You’re functioning, but you’re not fully present. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not thriving either. And scarily it feels like it could so easily tip to burnout without much changing.

What Languishing Looks Like

Here’s the strange part: on paper, everything in my life was great. I’m loved, I love, I exercise regularly, my business is growing, and my professional reputation is solid. But emotionally? I was coasting on “meh” for longer than I realised. Looking back now, literally nothing has changed except for some small actions in my life.

Adam Grant describes languishing as “the emotional experience of stalling. You may not feel depressed or burned out, but you definitely feel blah.”

And that’s exactly it—blah. Not dramatic enough to ring alarm bells, but persistent enough to drain the colour from your days.

The Antidote: Flow

As I dove deeper into this concept, I was reminded of something I already knew but hadn’t been practicing: flow. You know that feeling of being so absorbed in something that you lose track of time? Not the mindless scrolling kind of lost time, but the kind where you’re fully present, deeply engaged, and doing something that matters.

Adam Grant calls flow the antidote to languishing, and it makes perfect sense. Flow feeds three fundamental needs:

Mastery – doing something that challenges you just enough without feeling impossible. It’s that sweet spot where you’re stretching your abilities but not breaking.

Mindfulness – paying genuine attention to what’s in front of you and creating uninterrupted time. Not the constant pinging of notifications or jumping between tasks that creates what researchers call “time confetti,” but real, sustained focus.

Mattering – knowing that what you do has value or purpose, and it doesn’t have to be “BIG P” Purpose. Just personal value or purpose is enough.

The Small Shift That Made a Difference

So based on all this, I made a simple adjustment to my morning routine. Alongside my usual gratitude practice and intention-setting, I now ask myself one additional question:

“How will I find mastery, mindfulness, and mattering today?”

Sometimes the answer is in work—getting lost in deep thinking or writing. Sometimes it’s in movement, cooking, or fully owning the flow of being in a coaching session or presentation. The specific activity doesn’t matter as much as ensuring it genuinely matters to me and connects to how I contribute.

It also resulted in one consistent change. I started puzzling – as in doing 1000 piece puzzles full of complexity. I finish every day spending a few minutes putting together these puzzles and it means no matter what else I did or where else I find flow, my day ends with flow. 

In just a few days it made a huge difference and I could feel the fog lifting and now, over 2 months later that feeling is a different memory and energy has taken its place. 

Flow Isn’t Something You Chase

Here’s what I’m learning: flow isn’t something you pursue or hunt down. It’s something you create space for. Sometimes that means turning down the noise and simply doing one thing that matters. Fully. Presently. Without distraction.

Another of my favourite new flow practices has been getting back into proper training on the bike. Despite the heat, there’s definite flow when I’m swooping around corners, focusing completely on where I am, knowing it keeps me fit and strong for all the adventures still in my future. It’s my happy place, and it always leaves me feeling better than when I started. BUT, I also now notice the flow and take the time to enjoy and appreciate that feeling.

You’re Not Alone

So many people I meet and coach are sitting right in this space—not broken, not miserable, just not quite themselves. We don’t talk about this middle ground enough, but it’s where so many of us live for longer than we’d like to admit.

If that’s you, please know you’re not alone. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life. You just need to find your rhythm again, one small moment of flow at a time.

Feeling stuck in languishing yourself? Try asking yourself each morning: “How will I find mastery, mindfulness, and mattering today?” Start small, stay curious, and notice what shifts.